Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize