Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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