Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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