maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
