Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Damn victory sex feels great
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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