good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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