Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
