My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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