So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize