it wasn't lemon gatorade
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
