Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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