My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
