Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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