She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize