another moral hangover. fuck.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
