people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
