My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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