end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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