How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
