this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
