So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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