Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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