I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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