I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
