I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
