If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
