We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
where are you?
Hypothermia
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
