he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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