This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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