We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
