I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize