very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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