You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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