I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My vagina just recognized that song.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
