Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
