whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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