my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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