Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
