I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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