It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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