i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
