i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
