Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
