Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
