he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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