Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize