So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
