would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
