It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
