You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
