sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
