I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
