called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
