I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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