He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
