I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
