My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
