Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
