Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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