somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize