spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
