Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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