Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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